Who IS this REALLY about?

This past week I read a blog written by a leading College expert who was giving advice to parents about College Planning. One of his comments shocked me a little.

Parents – Remember this isn’t really about you.
Now let’s call the writer Mr. X


“Parents need to remember that they are the parents of the applicant, not the applicant” said Mr. X
“The applicant”, he notes, “is the one who has to take the SAT’s while trying to get through AP Chem and find the time in between to submit multiple applications to colleges so they can be judged by strangers. How’s that for pressure? Parents? They mostly need to contain their own stress and be supportive.”
“When you feel the stress starting to get to you, take a breath and remember that your kids are the ones who need support,” he said.

I normally read what Mr. X has to say with interest and he has a lot of good stuff with a lot of wisdom and perhaps this did not come out correctly or I am taking it out of context. Probably, but it gave me opportunity to write on a subject that has concerned me for a while.

Who is helping the Parents?

We all encourage our students to go to college from a young age. It is something that is promoted from kindergarten up, admired and encouraged. It’s a wonderful thing. All throughout their school years it is just a “Given” that most students are on the path to college. Colleges come to visit the students at school. Counselors plan for college readiness. From their freshman year in high school the students get on a track to do SAT and ACT prep in order to get into college. Students are encouraged to get a “List” of colleges they want to go to and they start getting excited about their futures and where they will go.

All of this happens without once asking the PARENTS some of the following questions:
1. Can you afford this?
2. How do you feel about being able to PAY for this?
3. How will this affect your retirement?
4. How much of college are you willing to pay for and how much do you want your student to pay for?
5. If your student goes to one of these colleges does this mean that your other children might or might not be able to go to college?
6. Will this mean that you will have to work until you are 70 instead of retiring at 65 like you had planned?
7. Do you have any thoughts about the career you student has chosen? Perhaps you might know a little about them seeing that you have raised them for the past 18 years.
8. Have you been able to tell anyone that you are scared to death about this whole process and don’t know who to talk to because you might have to sacrifice your retirement?

So my thoughts about this are this: IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT THE STUDENT! WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER!

I go back to my original thoughts – “Who is helping the parents?”

That’s why we decided to do what we do at College Planning America.